About Me

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I am so glad you have stumbled upon my little blog :) My name is Sister Jessica Mae Turley, and I am a Missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, serving in Washington D.C., Preaching in American Sign Language! I Love the gospel of Jesus Christ and how it applies to my life every single day in many different ways. Hopefully you gain something from my adventures :) Please feel free to share this blog anywhere you'd like :)

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Losing the Weight

So recently I was in a discussion with some wonderful women and as it usually does, the topic of Weight loss was brought up. Two of the women in the group had recently started Weight Watchers and one of them has a personal trainer. 

  So we started exchanging this secret and that, each of our failures and successes, and then I heard something that changed this whole idea of weight loss. Maybe some of you or most of you have already heard it but it really struck me.

"It's ok if you mess up, you just start over the next day."

I have heard that a thousand times. But with my most recent delving into the atonement it just CLICKED!

As I continued to ponder that I had another phrase come into my mind that really took me by surprise but just made this whole adventure so much better.

"It's all about progression, not perfection"

You can't lose 50 pounds in a day (no matter how desperately I wish that wasn't true), you can't even lose 10 pounds in a day! Just as you cannot become perfect in a day. We are creatures of habit and we have to change ourselves to become like God, little by little, day by day. He has given us so many tools that we can use to change ourselves. This post is really to focus on those tools,
and how they help us more effectivly apply the atonement into our lives 
and make changes that help us reach our Divine Potential.

1. Eating Healthy

 Everyone knows that the most important thing to do when trying to 
lose weight is to eat healthy. Doesn't matter if you work out for three hours
every day if you are still eating Twinkies and fried chicken. Similarly, we need to be aware
of what we are putting into our spiritual bodies. If we are trying to change ourselves, 
we need to feast upon those things that inspire and encourage change.

A balanced spiritual meal contains:
 15-30 minutes of Scripture Study 
Morning and Nightly Prayers 
Weekly Attendance at church meetings
Constant Nourishment of your Testimony 

This is the first step when trying to apply the atonement in our lives. 
Will we be perfect everyday? No.
Will we eat exactly how much we are suppose to? No.
Will we tend to replace scripture study with our favorite tv show? Sometimes :
So what do we do? We TRY, everyday. We wake up with a new motivation to be a little better.

2. Exercising

 Depending on who you are this is either your worst enemy or your best friend. Some of us would rather run 5 miles than eat our greens. Personally, I would rather drink straight kale and beets than run even 1 mile. BUT, it is sooo important that we MOVE!

We have to do something! So just as we would in weight loss, we have to exercise our faith, and physically make the changes. we can't just sit back and expect things to change because we want them to. We have to get up, get going, and keep going, every day. Push yourself!
Be a little better EVERY DAY!

WARNING: You will fail. A lot. And you will feel at times that you are not worthy of
His Atonement, His Love, His Mercy.

"However late you think you are, however many chances you think you have missed,
however many mistakes you feel you have made or talents you think you don't have,
or however far from home and family and God you feel you have traveled,
I testify that you have NOT traveled beyond the reach of divine love.
It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of 
Christ's Atonement"
- Elder Jeffery R. Holland - Quorum of the 12 Apostles

This is the biggest opposition when it comes to accepting and properly using the Atonement.
Satan is real. and the sooner you accept that the sooner you can begin to conquer him.
He would have you believe that you are worthless, you are not worthy, and you cannot succeed.
So please.... start remembering that the Saviors love is enough for you.

Ok. Soap box rant over. Next Step.

3. The Buddy System

Everyone knows that if you really want to be successful at losing weight,
or changing any sort of habit, you will be better off if you get a buddy.
 Someone to keep you accountable!

In a spiritual aspect, you need to rely on the Savior.
He is your buddy, He is perfect and has overcome every trial,
every addiction, every failure, every weakness that anyone may be facing.
 He can push you when you want to quit,
catch you when you fall, 
praise you when you succeed.
 He is the perfect personal trainer and
the only thing he requires of you is a  
willing heart. 

So basically.... 
These are just a few ways we can apply the 
atonement in our lives. 
It is through our Faith and our Works that 
we can change ourselves to become 
more like our Loving Heavenly Father
He wants to see us succeed.
He waits anxiously with open arms, to see us return to him,
 to depend on Him, and to recognize the 
eternal flow of blessings from Him. 

Always remember to feed your spirit through the scritpures
exercise your faith in jesus christ by using the atonement,
and have a buddy system! rely on Him!

I love my savior, and I am so grateful for 
the huge changes he has allowed me to make in my life. 

Use the Atonement. 
Apply it in your lives. 
Make Changes. 
Become Better. 
Share the Joy.

And Don't Forget to Smile!!!!

If you have comments or thoughts sparked from this post, PLEASE share them in the comments, or repost on your social media and tell me what you think.

#ShareGoodness #JesusChristismysavior 

Love always,
Sister Turley

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Everyone Needs a Superhero

I have been delaying writing this post because I tend to lock things
up and keep them away from my thoughts as a coping mechanism but I

have come to discover that it is the least helpful thing I can do. So
here goes nothing. Bear with me as it a bit lengthy but I hope it's
worth it.

I wanted to share my story of a recent trial in my life. This is not a
pity party plea or a fishing for praise, this is my way of testifying
about the atonement. So just remember that.

After a long year of struggle with getting things ready for a mission
I finally was able to submit my mission papers. The day after that, my
dad was admitted into the hospital and shortly thereafter was
diagnosed with leukemia. What a blow that was. I didn't think much of
it at first. It was my dad. He had been in the hospital before and had
come out fine, and I was sure that this was going to be another one of
those times.

With this huge change in my family's life, I was faced with a tough
decision: Do I stay or do I go? So I prayed, that very night, and the
answer was not comforting at all... "Wait for your call and you will
know". You have got to be kidding me!? Wait for my call? My dad is in
the hospital.... My family is hysterical, I feel like I'm the only one
with no emotions because I couldn't cry and Heavenly Father is asking
me to be patient....

So I did. And four slow, long, painful weeks passed, during which I
was in the hospital most of the time, and trying to take care of my family
as much as I could, trying to be more optimistic than I had ever been 
thus far in my life, trying to be brave and strong and supportive. 
And then I finally get my mission call after a mix
up or two.

When I read that call letter and realized that Heavenly Father had
given me exactly what I had asked for (Washington, D.C., ASL) I knew
without a doubt that I had to leave. I had to go. There was no point
in me staying. No good could I do by staying home. I had a
responsibility to come here, to 
The Greatest Mission in the History of Life!

So 28 days later I am on a plane headed to Utah for the Missionary
Training Center and I have never felt more sick in my life. Everything
inside of me wanted to jump out of that plane, wanted to turn around
and run back into my dad's arms. What was I doing leaving him behind?
I knew he wouldn't be there when I got back.

Everyday I waited to hear, every P-day I frantically emailed my
mother begging for an update. I would try and chat with my dad but he
was slipping, fast.

Week 6 in the MTC I finally got the first phone call informing me that
dad was being moved back home, there was nothing more to do, the chemo
didn't work. I tried to put on a brave face for everyone, I didn't
want to be this basket case, I didn't want anyone to know, but when I
knelt down that night to pray, I made sure to let Heavenly Father know
how blatantly pissed off I was.

 I yelled, screamed, cried, kicked,
punch my bed a few times, used an entire tissue box, I kid you not. How
could He do this? How could He take my superhero away from me? The one
person who had never failed me, who had never stopped supporting me,
who had never given up on me, how could He take him from me? From my
family? I was on a mission for heavens sake! I was giving up
everything for God and what does He do in return? He shatters my
world!! I was livid with Him.

A week later I was sitting in class and over the intercom I hear them
ask for me. Sister Phillips grabbed my hand and we walked up to the
front office, knowing what lay ahead. That was the longest walk I can
remember, my legs were like jello, my head was throbbing, heart
pounding. Yet I tried to laugh it off, as my dad would have done. 
I smiled at Sister Phillips, made some stupid corny joke. 
Just like Dad would have :) 

My superhero dad, the one who was supposed to survive an atomic bomb,
passed away on February 12th 2014. That day my life changed forever.
My perspective on the atonement and how it literally can carry us
through anything, completely changed. My understanding of the Plan of Salvation
was so much deeper than it ever had been.

Christ did EVERYTHING for us, suffered through the most extreme pain, 

so that we can be happy. Why? Because He is our savior, redeemer, SUPERHERO and friend.
 He is our eldest Brother who chose to come and save us all, because He loves us. 
It is that simple. 


I wish I could describe the overwhelming peace that came from knowing
the plan of salvation. I wish I could instill in everyone's hearts
what it feels like to have unshakable faith in knowing that I will
see my father again.

The Plan of Salvation is real. And it is crucial to our personal
salvation that we study and understand it. There is life after this.

The atonement covers all pains, all trials, all weaknesses. His love
is infinite and boundless. There is nothing that he cannot help us

If you don't know what the Plan of Salvation is, if you don't
understand the atonement, if you don't have a faith in a life after
this please comment or email me. There is strength beyond compare when
you can rely whole heartedly on the savior of the world, who over came
death, overcame the world, so that we can live with our families, and
with god, in His celestial glory forever.

This trial has changed my life and the lives of my family because of
our knowledge of gods great plan of happiness. 

Christ lives, and because he lives, I know my father will live once again with me, and my amazing family. FOREVER! 

In the name of Jesus Christ, I bear my testimony of these truths, amen.

Love, Sister Turley

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

I am a Child of God

My thoughts this week have been focused on how His love allows us to reach heights we never could on our own. There have been many moments this week where I have felt that He is simply asking too much of me,
There is no way I could go through with the task at hand. I just am not strong enough. And I am 100% right about that. I am not strong enough on my own. But as I have taken the time to turn to Him and allow Him to lift me up, I have been humbled and much more aware of what is truly possible with His hand.

As I took this silly picture below, I began to ponder it and I was shocked to find a lot of sadness in it. I was excited to take it and then I analyzed it a little bit more... There is so much emptiness in this picture. It is me. Alone. Being as strong as I can. Doing it alone. As I thought about this a little more I was taken back to that original thought. I cannot do this on my own. I need His help. I need to submit my will to His and become more like the children I cherish so very much in my life. 

Children are so gentle, so easy to love even when they make mistakes. They are humble and realize that they cannot do anything without the help or supervision of an adult, of someone who has "been there and done that." They enjoy the simple things in life and they get over things quickly! (usually). This moment at the temple captured my heart. I was so impressed with how much pure joy was radiating from her face. Bliss in a loving moment. How I so wish I could be more like that. 

Just I love the little children I am so blessed to be around, our Heavenly Father and our savior, Jesus Christ, love us just the same. They were willing to provide the atonement and go through anything so that we could return to live with them again. They are always there, with outstretched arms, waiting for us to humble ourselves enough to reach out as well. 

Luke 18:16-17
16: But Jesus called them unto him and said, suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of sch is the kingdom of God. 
17: Verily I say unto you, whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein. 

I testify that God loves us, and we are His children. There is no simpler truth than that. And none more empowering and hopeful. 

If you don't know this truth for yourself I plead with you to find it. Pray. Read from the scriptures. Look for the blessings and the examples of love in your life. 

He Loves You.
You are a Child of God. 

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

There is Sunshine In My Soul Today!

Well it has been quite some time since I have updated this at all. But I have been prompted to start posting again so here goes nothing :)

Life is hard.... surprised? Well you shouldn't be. If you stop and look around you for just one second you could find 15 people and see their challenges written straight across their forehead. And then if you look a little closer you would see some broken hearts and lost souls... but look again, for just a few more seconds.... and notice the spirit inside of that person. Recognize their eternal worth. See the spirit son or daughter they are and see what God sees in them. 

Often times I am dumbfounded at how much God truly loves His children. I just can't fathom it. Especially when I get so irritated or annoyed with people! How on earth does He put up with all of them?? Because He loves them, unconditionally. Then on the other hand, I can see His love for others perfectly yet I can't imagine how He could possibly love me, someone so imperfect and strewn with flaws and mistakes. But in my heart I know, He loves me. No matter what. His love is ALWAYS there.

Think about the sun, (yes yes I know, cheesy analogy, you have heard it already... just keep reading:)
Does the sun choose to shine only on people with blonde hair, or does it shine on the gingers too?
Does the sun hide itself when we make stupid choices or does it just keep spreading it's beautiful rays?
What about when WE run away from the sun? When we hide ourselves inside our room with no windows?
God's love is exactly like the sun. It is always there, no matter what we do, say, think, believe. God loves all of His children, equally, whether or not we deserve it. It is there.

 “Your Heavenly Father loves you—each of you. That love never changes... It is not influenced by your appearance, by your possessions, or by the amount of money you have in your bank account. It is not changed by your talents and abilities. It is simply there. It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve love. It is simply always there” (“We Never Walk Alone,” September 2013 general Relief Society meeting). 

So when we begin to feel like God couldn't possibly love us we MUST remember that is an ABSOLUTE LIE!!!! There is nothing that one of His children could ever do to be outside of His loving reach, so long as we are willing to repent and apply the atonement into our lives.

I know that our Heavenly Father loves us more than we can possibly comprehend. He loves us so much that He was willing to let His only begotten son suffer all manner of afflictions, so that we might return and live with Him again. He wants EVERY SINGLE CHILD back in His arms.

 I cannot even imagine my own father not wanting all of my brothers and sisters back. He would never say "I don't care if Jessie doesn't come home, so long as Eric and Jacob make it back ok!" NO! HE WOULD NEVER SAY THAT! (Because we all know I am my father's favorite child, haha :) But really, my dad wouldn't say that and neither would our Heavenly Father.

So, my challenge to you all, whoever you are;

 If you are struggling to feel God's precious love for you, get out of your windowless room and go enjoy the sunshine. Take a walk down the street and literally smell some flowers (or a cactus) on the side of the road. Count all of the amazing blessings He has given you. Sit outside and time yourself, for just 10 minutes, write down every single blessing you can think of. If you are still not feeling His love by that point, then get on your knees and pray. Ask Him to make His love known to you.

If you are struggling (like I often do) to see God's love for OTHER people, then I have a different challenge for you :) Smile more. Smile at every person you see. Pray every day for an opportunity to serve. If it is your spouse, your child, your neighbor, your companion, your co-worker, your sibling, the man that cut you off on your way to work or the person who threw a hamburger at you while you were tracting... take a minute and list their good qualities, think of their eternal potential. Write it down. Really let God show you His love for His children. And then anytime you begin to have negative feelings towards that person, pull out your list, or write a new one.

He loves you. Don't forget it. And He loves that annoying coworker, and the wreckless driver.

So open up your arms and soak in some Celestial D!! (sunshine)

Sister Turley

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

The WHY of the Mission

SO... It is finally actually happening.. Hopefully. I have an interview in about two hours with my stake President to finally submit the papers. I am now 15 lbs down from where I started a month ago. It feels good, but I know I could have done a lot more. But oh well!

Anyway, as I have been going through trial after trial, setback after setback, I have had a lot of time to ponder the question, "Why do you want to serve a mission?". It has become a source of great strength and patience in my life, especially in this last month when I have questioned time and time again, why on earth am I putting myself through this torture, this waiting game?? In the past I would have answered this question with; "Because the mission is an amazing thing" or "Because I know that Heavenly Father wants me to" or "Because I love missionary work". All of which are great answers... but recently, I think I found the BEST answer for myself that I could come up with.

I want to serve a mission because I have a responsibility to take this gospel to those who don't have it. I have been blessed beyond compare because of the Atonement in my life and I know that Heavenly Father loves ALL of His children, and needs ME to go get them and show them the way back.

I want to serve a mission because I love God, I love His gospel, I love His work, and just as Christ did, I promised once before to come to Earth and do His work, not my own.

"We came into the world for a great purpose, the same as Jesus, our elder brother, to do the will and works of our Father; in this there is peace, joy and happiness, an increase of wisdom, knowledge and the power of God; outside of this are no promised blessings. Thus let us devote ourselves to righteousness, help each and all to be better and happier; do good to all and evil to none; honor God and obey His Priesthood; cultivate and preserve an enlightened conscience and follow the Holy Spirit..." - Teachings of Lorenzo Snow

The great thing about this is that it doesn't talk specifically about Missionary Work. If the only thing that qualified as doing God's will was serving a mission then there would be a lot of disobedient people in the world. There are so many ways that we can go about doing God's will and each and every one of us has our own way, a specific purpose that He needs us to fulfill. So don't feel bad when you feel like a mission isn't for you. It's not for everyone. But God's will is. It always will be.

I personally am so overcome with joy when I think about being on a mission. I have been given so many wonderful blessings, so many opportunities to bless the lives of others by working with our Heavenly Father.

This post won't be very long, I am a little anxious right now. But I hope that I made my point. If you are considering serving a mission, waiting to report, or currently serving, I would encourage you to figure out the real reason you want to go/went on a mission. And if that reason isn't the best it could be, then change it, and allow it to work in you day after day, until you are out there for the best reason possible.

Luke 22:42 - "...nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done."

Until next time!!

Jessie Mae

Friday, October 11, 2013

A Bitter Heart is NOT a Broken Heart

Sometimes I forget that we have been commanded to have broken hearts and to be submissive to Heavenly Father and whatever He may put us through.

I forget that my trials are so insignificant in the grand scheme. I forget that when my heart is bitter, and full of anger, I am not serving the Lord. I am actually hurting Him more, because a bitter heart is not a broken heart and only a broken heart can bring itself and others closer to Christ. 

A bitter heart is guarded. A bitter heart is angry, and defensive. A bitter heart does not connect with other hearts, it does not sympathize, it does not love. A bitter heart is a heart tarnished by the adversary and the natural man. 

A broken heart however, is one that is near to Christ, near to the Father. A broken heart is open, and loving. A broken heart is accepting of others' flaws and imperfections. A broken heart sees its' own imperfections and uses the atonement to refine them. A broken heart is willing to follow Gods laws, and to become better. A broken heart is a Christ-like heart. 

My heart is bitter. And it is affecting everything else about me. I am not happy. I am not anxious to serve my fellow man. I am not thirsting and hungering after righteousness. I am lazy, and unwilling to change. 

I could not sleep last night. I tossed and turned and wept and prayed for about an hour before I finally turned on some hypnotherapy to knock me out. I am full of so much anxiety. I hate this state that I am in. 

Wow. Just re-read this. MAJORLY DEPRESSING.

So I realized how bad things were getting yesterday and so I made a list. A very lengthy list. The Ideal Me. I listed everything that I want to be and how I want to act. I had been thinking about this the other day, how so often we make a list of the ideal spouse, and all of the characteristics we are looking for in them. I am totally guilty of this. But how often do we make a list of how to be the ideal spouse? It is said time and time again you need to be the kind of person you want to marry/date/befriend. So I made the list. Not in regaurds to being a good spouse. Just being a good Me. All of the things that I feel are important and that I need to work on or just keep doing as I am doing. 

So I am going to post it. And then hopefully soon I am going to make an Ideal Missionary Me list. because it would be a little more relevant ;) 

The Ideal Me

Healthy & Active
     - Enjoys eating healthy foods 
     - Exercises everyday
     - Confident in body image and beauty
Magnifies Church Calling
     - Works daily on that calling
     - Prays daily for guidance in the calling
     - Dependable with that calling
Studies Daily
     - Begins and Ends the day with Scripture Study
     - Always seeking to learn more temporally and spiritually 
Righteous & Virtuous
      - Prays for guidance and love daily
      - Attends the temple monthly
      - Pays a full-tithe
      - Attends and actively participates in all church meetings
      - Loves and serves daily
      - keeps covenants
      - strives to be Christ-like, daily
      - Shares the gospel
      - Participates in Missionary Work
      - Prays daily for Missionary opportunities
      - Ceases to be idle
      - Keeps mind and body clean and pure
      - Loves the Lord
     - Has an unshakable testimony
Anxiously Engaged
      - Always learning, working bettering, changing, DOING
Money Smart
      - Strict  Budget
      - Thrifty
      - Handy - Fix it Yourself, Do it Yourself
      - Coupons
     - No debt unless ABSOLUTELY necessary
     - Lives within means
     - Counsels with the Lord and spouse/parents about money decisions
Time Management
       - Doesn't Sit/waste time
       - Always doing something productive
       - Always on time, never late
       - Uses time to express love
       - schedule oriented
       - Detailed and prepared for each day
       - Constantly learning
      - College degree
      - Career Path
      - Counsels w/ Lord on who He needs me to be
Family Oriented
      - Participates/encourages family prayer, scripture study, council & FHE
      - Serves family daily
      - Never complains
      - Honors and Respects family members
      - Peacemaker
      - Spends time with Family

So... quite the list. I looked at it once I was done and thought, "there's no way". But I know that this is the kind of woman that Heavenly Father needs me to be and I am so excited for the relationship that I am going to build with Him by working on myself in these ways and allowing His plan to become more present in my life and stop worrying so much about MY plan and how I want things to work out. My bitter heart became a lot more broken after I made this list. 

A great friend of mine told me that while on his mission he was instructed to write a letter to himself, a future self kind of letter, telling about all he had accomplished and become. He told me I should do the same. and so I did. This is basically the listed version of that. The letter is pretty personal so this is something I can post and see and help me kind of look at it like a characteristic check list :) 

Wow. Just typing out that list really softened my heart today. I am so grateful for a God who knows me personally and loves me and understands how to speak to my heart.  A God who loved me so deeply that he sacrificed His only begotten son for my sins and sorrows. I know that there is a great plan in place. A plan of happiness and peace. A plan to get all of us back to our loving Heavenly Father, if that is what we choose. That is the marvelous thing about this plan. It is our choice. and every decision we makes, affects that ultimate choice, of who we want to be and where we want to end up. 

I am so grateful to have a knowledge and faith in this gospel that I love. 

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world give, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid." - John 14:27

Until next time :) - Jessie Mae


Friday, October 4, 2013

When you ask for a Mountain....

When you ask for a mountain to climb, be prepared.

I have been so bitter and unmotivated the past few days. One of those moods where you just want to lay in bed and watch season after season of your favorite T.V. show. 

I submitted my papers to the Stake President on Tuesday night. The interview went very well (I thought) and I was so excited and over the moon about it all. 

I got a call, Wednesday after, saying that my papers are being held because... *sigh* I am over the weight limit. Now don't get me wrong. I am not delusional, I am fully aware of my body. And I am very confident and comfortable in it. Of course I wish I was skinnier, of course I wish I could run a mile without feeling like my lungs are going to explode, of course I wish I didn't have thunder thighs. But that's just how I am and I haven't been dedicated enough or focused enough to really fix it. I have gone on this diet and that workout plan and I know they work. they really do. Every time I try one, my body responds. I lose weight. I feel amazing. And then I get hungry :) And therein lies the problem. Anywho, this isn't a diet and exercise blog, lets move on to the real point. 

So after I got the call I actually wasn't very upset. I am only over the limit by 12 lbs. If I pull a biggest loser I can lose that in like a week. That's water weight!! I knew that I could totally do it. I was actually really motivated and really excited because if anything was going to get me to finally do this, it would be the mission. I wrote out a plan, got all motivated. I went on a run that night, and it hit me how long it had been since I had really done this. I was pretty good about it while I was in Washington but that slowly faded. I was still motivated though.... 

And then Thursday morning I woke up and I was just bitter. I was annoyed that it was only 12 lbs. I was so mad that I was being delayed AGAIN, and for something so small. (technically it was about being BIG so i guess it's not really a small thing... but you get what I mean.. right?)

Anyway, I went throughout the day second guessing everything, feeling unmotivated to go on my mission, being so angry and so annoyed with myself that 1) I had asked for this and 2)that I let myself get this way. 

I am not going to lie and pretend like I have seen the error of my ways and that I am so happy to be going through this. I'm not. I am still bitter. I got up this morning and didn't want anything to do with the world. I just needed to scream at the top of my lungs and throw a tantrum. Which is why I started writing this post. But as I have been writing I have realized a few things.

1.) I asked for this. I knew that I needed to be challenged and I didn't want to just wait for the blow. I needed to be pushed, especially now. 
2.) More important, Heavenly Father knew I needed otherwise He wouldn't have answered my prayer. 
3.) I talked to a friend last night about this and he reminded me that I need to have faith in the Lord's timing and his trials. And it's true. There is a reason why I am being delayed. I don't know why yet, and I may never know. But I need to have faith. 
4.) I cannot allow the adversary to use this trial against me. I cannot allow myself to become bitter and angry and useless. I cannot get distracted from the game and let the other team score a point. It's not worth it. 
5.) This isn't going to be easy. If it was than it wouldn't be a challenge and I wouldn't grow from it. I have had so many trials that now that I look back on seem like they were so easy to overcome and to get through. Maybe it's just my perspective now that I am not in the thick of it all, which gives me hope that in a few weeks this won't seem so horrible. But really now, why on earth would I have expected anything less than overwhelming? 

That's enough bullet points, I think :) 

I am trying desperately to "face the future with faith" and "find joy in the journey" and happily climb this mountain. Any words of advice are appreciated :) 

I thought I had a ton more to say but I completely lost my "train". Just went straight of the track. 

Going up to Provo today. Excited but a little stressed. I don't do well when things aren't planned out and I am completely unprepared for a trip. But I am excited and it's going to be great :) 

hopefully we can score some tickets to conference. If anyone has some, I would gladly accept them!!! 
(pitiful shout out)

Well, Until next time - Jessie Mae

P.S. I need to think of a catchy closing/signature.... send me some ideas!!